It seems to me that Twitter is one ginormous cocktail party, where sadly you have to get your own drinks and canapés but where amazingly you can wear your jim jams and it doesn’t even matter. When I started tweeting to advertise my book, I was scared stiff and didn’t dare press any keys on my computer in case I tweeted something by mistake, or inadvertently insulted someone – because as any Twitter user knows, etiquette is all important (little finger in the air as the author sips Chardonnay).
How incredible it is to be able to hook up with like-minded, well-known or even famous people who you admire and who, amazingly enough, might even spread the word about your scribblings. How else would I have heard the news about Jeremy Clarkson not quite punching somebody? Well … actually Mr Clark told me, but even so …
Sometimes the thought of doing a thing is daunting. I’m sure Jeremy would have (had he thought about it) been daunted at the fallout of his actions. As a punishment I think he ought to be made to clean cars in Sainsburys car park for at least 6 months – a fitting community service and you never know, he might even lose his jeans overhang.
Daunting or not, building your own house will be worth it, and there will always be someone you can tweet who might be able to help you. Take it from me; never employ builders who don’t speak any English, unless you can speak their language of course. Think your build costs through – it is most important especially if you have a tight budget. Buildstore can help you with their build costs calculator. If your carpenter ends up taking the p** and asks you for some very expensive fixings that aren’t in the budget, just say ‘no – use some bl**** nails’ and stick to your guns, (hopefully not to your Gripfill gun, even though I expect you will find that it will come in very handy – Gripfill being the stickiest and toughest substance on earth).
Talking of tweeting, my mum has a clock that chirps with a different sort of bird on each hour. The other day she went outside and heard a blackbird – strange she thought, it can’t be eight o’clock yet. I told her it’s the Pavlov’s dog effect. She has been conditioned by her clock! – now that could be a military strategy, if you have read The Men Who Stare At Goats by Jon Ronson you’ll know what I mean.
I’m tweeting like a demon now – give me a tweet @mudandmarriage
If you want more advice about do’s and don’ts on a self-build, you’ll find them in my book Mud & Marriage – A Housebuilding Adventure, available to buy from Amazon.co.uk (Kindle version now available) or from this website.
And on that bombshell … What an adventure it was!